Nothing to Lose
by write-love-latte
Summary: I never did understand you but then again, I never did understand myself, either. DarkFic DMGW Oneshot based of Billy Talent's Nothing To Lose, R


Nothing To Lose

The tears fell and fell and fell and they wouldn't stop. There seemed to be an endless suply of them. They just poured down from her eyes, despite how much she wanted to keep them in. She wiped them away harshly, almost to the point where she bruised her cheek, but she didn't care. She just had to get them away. Blasted, cursed tears. _Why did she have to cry? Why couldn't she be stone? Why couldn't she be concrete? Why did she always have to show emotion? Why, why, why, why why? _A sob escaped her parted lips, and she sucked in her breath in an attempt to stop herself whimpering. Why couldn't she just fly away? Fly away from all this pain and anguish? From the darkness that had swallowed her up in its embrace?

_The harsh laughing filled her ears, a cruel bruising sound upon her mind. "Weasley..." the words were breathless and winded from laughter, "Weasley you're so pathetic!" And she felt a sharp blow to her back as she was forced forward to her knees, her books scattering in front of her. One of her tormenters, a Slytherin girl from her year, picked one of her old, second-hand books up, inspecting it disgustedly. With a swish of her hand, she ripped the pages out, one by one, then threw the beaten up cover to the cold floor in front of Ginny and proceeded to step on it, a cruel smile on her face. "Weasley gonna cry?" she taunted, and the rest of her cronies joined in the tormenting._

_Ginny let her face be stony, but she couldn't hide the pain in her eyes. She looked down at her pale hands and at the cover of the book that now lay before her. She felt tears prick at her eyes. That had been a heirloom. Her father had used it when he had been younger._

"Oh look! Its Gina Weston!" a Slytherin boy taunted laughingly to his friend. A tear slid itself onto Ginny's eyelash. 'If you're going to taunt me,' she thought harshly, 'at least learn my name first.' And she slinked away into a dark corridor and pulled her silver friend out of her back pack, rolling her sleeves up and reacquainting herself with a friend she had sworn only the night before she'd never use again.

_The day faded seemingly before her eyes, a blur of nothingness, a dull throbbing of greyness she was only vaguely aware of in the back of her mind. There was naught but a thin line that divided day from night, and Ginny didn't even pay attention to it any more. She didn't sleep. There were darkened bags under her dull amber eyes. She didn't eat, either. Her slender figure was now becoming morbidly skinny. 'You have to help yourself,' she thought once, but the thought quickly vanished in the blur of sameness that was her next class._

The Gryffindors were flushed when they came back to the Common Room that night. Over the part year all the Hogwarts houses had made a pact that every Friday night they would get together to play a good old game of Wizard's Truth or Dare. Ginny heard from the controlled chattering of her dorm mates that the game was fun. But she had never played it because she knew that even the Gryffindors would have scoffed at her request to join in. And that said something.

_It was lunch time, and Ginny Weasley was no where to be seen in the Great Hall. No one noticed, though. Ginny was in Moaning Mrytle's bathroom, and even the ghost refused to come out and keep her company. She had sneaked a small turkey sandwhich out of the Hall, and was now sitting in one of the damp cubicles, nibbling at it. She was hungry, but she knew that this was all she'd get today. She was lonely, too, but that was a normal feeling anyways._

Ginny scribbled frantically within the notebook, drawing little sketches in an attempt to explain the dreadful happening of the day and the mixed blur of feelings that came with them. This was the only place where she could explain herself, and where she had a continued source of some small form of comfort. At least no one could taunt her here.

_She slid the knife along her arm again, the tears of both type still falling. This hurt, but she deserved it, didn't she? She deserved the pain and the bodily torment. She wasn't worth anything. No one liked her, not even Ron. This pain was how it was meant to be. This was how people like her were meant to live. They were meant to suffer. Because they were useless._

Ginny wanted to ignore the steely stare she earned from Professor Malfoy. Yes, he was the same Draco Malfoy, except, now that he had graduated, he had become the DADA teacher. And she had to put up with him. "Ms. Weasley, come see me after class," he said, his voice, as always, cold. She lived through the rest of his class in a daze, and at the end of the class, she did indeed stay behind to talk to him. "Is something bothering you?" he asked, and she was startled to hear a hint of concern somewhere in the recesses of his voice. He had always been her favorite teacher, for more reasons that one, regardless of how much her brother hated him and warned her about him. She shook her head, no. "I was just wondering because lately you seem to be...drifting off," before she could say anything he continued, "Ms. Weasley, if there is anything you want to talk about," he tapped his desk, "I'm right here."

"There's nothing to talk about," she said meekly, before leaving the classroom. A few days later she heard Professor Malfoy conversing with Professor McGonagal about her.

"No need to worry, Malfoy," said the woman, but even her voice had a bit of a waiver to it, "All children go through a phase in life where they feel lost and other children pick on them. I don't doubt that it'll happen to her children after her."

"What ever you say, McGonagal," Draco had said back, "But I never went through that phase."

"Thats because you were the tormentor, not the tormentee," McGonogal said sternly, before Ginny heard her heels click away.

_Ginny the knife to her throat, sliding it along her neck experimentally. 'I wonder what would happen if I just pressed a little harder...' she thought, but she did not try it out just yet. Instead she took a parchment from her back pack and scribbling something down on it, then whiped some of her blood onto the paper right next to her signature. She new this was a dramatic thing to do, but she couldn't take the torture anymore...She just couldn't..._

Draco Malfoy stooped down next to the body of his dead student, and felt an overwhelming sadness wash over him. Should he inform the others? 'No,' he thought, brushing a strand of the girl's russet red locks out of her face, 'Not just yet. They can come find us.' Gently he leaned down, placing a gentle kiss on her lips. "I never did understand you..." he muttered against her cold cheek, "But then again, I never did understand myself either." He pulled the note from her lifeless hand.

_Dear Professor Malfoy,_

_I know you're the only one who'll actually come looking for me, the only one who'll actually care that I'm gone. That's why this is adressed to you. There's a lot of things that no one will ever know about me. One of them is why I did this. I'm taking that secret, and many others, with me to my grave._

_I just want you to know, that you always have been one of my favorite teachers, and my one and only true love. We could never work, that's why I didn't tell you before. I love you, Draco Malfoy. Maybe its because you're the only one who evered cared about what happened to me. Maybe its because I just love you...whatever reason, its true. I do, truly love you._

_Sincerely_

_-Ginny Weasley_

Draco wanted to cry, but he didn't. Instead he pulled the knife from its placed lodged within her throat, and held it to his. Before he followed his student, his friend and his love into the after life, he nicked himself on the finger and wrote with the same pen she'd used to write her last words, to write his:

_I love you, too, Ginny Weasley._

And the deed was done.

* * *

McGonagal stared at the two frigid bodies that lay before her, her wrinkled face contorted in a mixture of pity and devastation. They lay next to eachother, both seeming in peace. She had read their last words, and she knew the families would take it badly. This would, no doubt, go down in Hogwarts History as one of the most horrible occurings ever to take place within these walls.

* * *

_"Why did you do it, Gin?" Draco asked her, hugging her from behind._

_"Why did you do it, Draco?" she asked, a smile playing on her lips._

_"With you gone," he said suspensefully, "I had nothing to lose."_

**Author's Note: Here's a lil something from me, guys, just to let you guys know I'm not dead. I know its been a while since I updated, but with all the hassle of a new year and school, things have been hard. And to top that off I'm sick. I'll be updating Sunsets soon, so don't get too impatient...Review with a cherry on top...:-)**

**PS: Story I wrote a looooooooong time ago, 'bout when Billy Talent's Nothing to Lose came out. As you should be able to tell, it's based off of it, too. Bit random, too...but ohwell...**


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